i wrote this on a napkin at a local coffeeshop not more than an hour ago:

sorry to bother you. I was hoping I could witness to you, whoever you are, to prepare for a missions trip in 2 weeks. i don't think you have any reasxon to need to agree with me, but pleasure just hear my story, because this is my life.

i've been a Christian for about a year. But i've called myself a Christian for probably about 10 or 12 years, which goes to say what you look like doesn't exactly determine who you are. the idea is sometimes to trick other people, but you can't do that forever, and you probably (okay, definitely) can't trick the idea of a sovereign
God.

i never felt the need for God until everything i had kind of fell apart and i saw that i had become someone i didn't like being. some people never experience this, so i can sorta understand how someone could not feel the need for a kind of Savior. but the thing behind the judeo-Christian God is that He validates life - that it is His love for all of us that can allow us to have real, full life. the separation is
called sin, but sin is really just some archery term to mean things aren't perfect and they cannot be perfect. so heaven, a place without sin, is just somewhere perfect, and that perfect is synonymous with God - and that is the place where Christians say believers really find themselves. the only problem with sex or drugs or other pursuits is that some turn to the thing itself rather than to God. God is where true pleasure derives, and He made things like sex to be enjoyable and unifying, but people just like me started living for sex instead of God, which by itself, is not perfect, not fulfilling.

there is a rejection of God because there are so many questions and He doesn't make scientific sense and He made Hurricane Katrina and kills people. and truly, i can see how some can get really mad at Him. But it is still the backbone to His entire being that He loves us - and that such a love doesn't fail. things that cause pain don't
ever seem to make sense. at the end, more of it (or all of it) actually resolves - and lessons are learned or things are strengthened. it is tricky. faith in God practically screams that one will have tough times, but faith says that is is worth it because God will make you better and give you real life.

the idea of a Savior is that we can't save ourselves - from mortality. people think that if they are happy, that will be good enough - so they choose to do questionable things and settle for the most the world can give. the thing behind God is that He says there is more that you can have - and it is His grace that allows this to be possible. because technically, we fell away from Him and rejected Him and it is every person who chose to crucify Him or betray Him for money.

simply put, God gives life. but He requires extreme trust and faith in Him to truly work. He still has a promise though. If one lives for Him, with one's life, then He will make everything okay. that's really all that anyone wants. truly.

and my story is that i was broken and God changed me and now i have something to live for. that's it. i'm not better than anyone else or that i'm right and you are wrong or the homosexuals are wrong. i'm just saying there's more to this Christianity than
some people give it credit for.

Always seek truth.

i have more at ihaveweirdpants.blogspot.com and would very much appreciate feedback (e-mail = dchang07@hollandhall.net). please leave this or put it somewhere where it might be found.