This is the life I want to live: Somewhere in the excitement of the worship and the authenticity of everyone around me, it suddenly occurred to me that this is the kind of environment I want to be in - that this really is the truth that we look for, really the treasure we've overlooked all this time. This would prove unbelievably important in a matter of hours - that this is the life I want to live. I don't want to back to the ineffective solutions the world offers us - the sex and drugs and smoking and carefree lifestyle. I don't want to return to the lack-of-substance life I had recently pursued and embraced - it got me nowhere.
So after an insane praise session, the only thing that could have followed was an effective message (by Dr. Cary, translated by Sam into English...though they were constantly switching assignments). The main message that I got was that it is the role of the Church to make sure everyone knows Christianity - not necessarily to be converted, but everything that it involves. It is the Church's role to reap the harvest - and the harvest, the entire world, is ready for being reaped, saved from the evils of sin. I sort of dozed off for a while - but I felt compelled to show the world who I am with and without Christ (a 180 degree difference). Somehow, I raised my hand to something (that I truly felt) and was up in the front of the church and prayed for. He didn't exactly knock me out, but just sorta made me cry for a long time. A lot of the time was spent pre-determining that I would not fall to temptation - that I would never go back, I would never abandon God. Although that won't be possible, the point remains that I live life according to God - I try my hardest not to fall. Then a bunch of time was spent relating to my hand turkey paradox - how stupid I was to ignore God's reign in my life. Israelites reject God and get two hundred years of exile, so then what am I doing rejecting Him also? How stupid could I be to have overlooked Him for so long - I've been watching Him work so much in my life (even as I am refusing to listen to Him), but I still fall when under attack by temptation. But that's not the life I live anymore. I live my life for God, because living life for anything else not only doesn't make sense, but always blows up in our faces. Always - a dead end. Catch the fire.
God was seriously working on all of us at the same moment too. Billy, though initially confused, has really stepped out of his comfort zone, doing what the Holy Spirit seems to be telling him. Ruth was knocked out and glued to the floor - and an instant change. She's in a good mood, amped up to be living this life, flexible, less stressed. Later, the drummer approached her and some guys picked her up because she didn't have her own strength. The drummer had been told by God to pray for her and he did - speaking of all of the great things that God would be using her for. She'll be working everywhere - Singapore, all of Africa, everywhere. And she'll be among leaders. That's one of the reasons I think she was sent to Tulane - the Party school solely associated with Mardi Gras. God needed her, someone who He could use to witness and work in peoples' lives. Kind of like a missions trip, where she's the beacon of light shining into the darkness of so-called life where people party and drink primarily. I was wanting her to end up at U of Chicago, but she probably couldn't have made such an intense revolution there as she could at Tulane. Wherever God leads, and it looks like He'll be leading her to great heights. Just unimaginable glories... Aileen did get to speak in tongues (which fails to stop amazing me), but the thing I think she ended up with was that every thing's going to work out. every thing's going to be okay. That God is the Provider, and He'll make sure that she's provided with everything she needs, and then some. And that wherever He leads, it'll be worth it. She's definitely less stressed out - success with God leads to success in life, and I think she's starting to realize all her needs will be met and exceeded.
So that was my baptism - not physical, but spiritual. I don't want to go back to my old pointless lifestyle, but more importantly, I know that I can't. I have this role as a Christian. I can't fall through the cracks of sin. I've already found the truth, and it is a life focused on God. Because He won't let us down, not in the end at least, when everything matters. So I guess I did die on this missions trip, and it's the best feeling in the world for God to be real.
So after an insane praise session, the only thing that could have followed was an effective message (by Dr. Cary, translated by Sam into English...though they were constantly switching assignments). The main message that I got was that it is the role of the Church to make sure everyone knows Christianity - not necessarily to be converted, but everything that it involves. It is the Church's role to reap the harvest - and the harvest, the entire world, is ready for being reaped, saved from the evils of sin. I sort of dozed off for a while - but I felt compelled to show the world who I am with and without Christ (a 180 degree difference). Somehow, I raised my hand to something (that I truly felt) and was up in the front of the church and prayed for. He didn't exactly knock me out, but just sorta made me cry for a long time. A lot of the time was spent pre-determining that I would not fall to temptation - that I would never go back, I would never abandon God. Although that won't be possible, the point remains that I live life according to God - I try my hardest not to fall. Then a bunch of time was spent relating to my hand turkey paradox - how stupid I was to ignore God's reign in my life. Israelites reject God and get two hundred years of exile, so then what am I doing rejecting Him also? How stupid could I be to have overlooked Him for so long - I've been watching Him work so much in my life (even as I am refusing to listen to Him), but I still fall when under attack by temptation. But that's not the life I live anymore. I live my life for God, because living life for anything else not only doesn't make sense, but always blows up in our faces. Always - a dead end. Catch the fire.
God was seriously working on all of us at the same moment too. Billy, though initially confused, has really stepped out of his comfort zone, doing what the Holy Spirit seems to be telling him. Ruth was knocked out and glued to the floor - and an instant change. She's in a good mood, amped up to be living this life, flexible, less stressed. Later, the drummer approached her and some guys picked her up because she didn't have her own strength. The drummer had been told by God to pray for her and he did - speaking of all of the great things that God would be using her for. She'll be working everywhere - Singapore, all of Africa, everywhere. And she'll be among leaders. That's one of the reasons I think she was sent to Tulane - the Party school solely associated with Mardi Gras. God needed her, someone who He could use to witness and work in peoples' lives. Kind of like a missions trip, where she's the beacon of light shining into the darkness of so-called life where people party and drink primarily. I was wanting her to end up at U of Chicago, but she probably couldn't have made such an intense revolution there as she could at Tulane. Wherever God leads, and it looks like He'll be leading her to great heights. Just unimaginable glories... Aileen did get to speak in tongues (which fails to stop amazing me), but the thing I think she ended up with was that every thing's going to work out. every thing's going to be okay. That God is the Provider, and He'll make sure that she's provided with everything she needs, and then some. And that wherever He leads, it'll be worth it. She's definitely less stressed out - success with God leads to success in life, and I think she's starting to realize all her needs will be met and exceeded.
So that was my baptism - not physical, but spiritual. I don't want to go back to my old pointless lifestyle, but more importantly, I know that I can't. I have this role as a Christian. I can't fall through the cracks of sin. I've already found the truth, and it is a life focused on God. Because He won't let us down, not in the end at least, when everything matters. So I guess I did die on this missions trip, and it's the best feeling in the world for God to be real.
posted by D. Chang at 8:57 PM
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